The Strength of Contentment

As men, we live with a constant pull inside us.

The drive to achieve.

To conquer.

To build something bigger than ourselves.

It’s wired into us.

We set goals, dream of adventures, imagine businesses we could start, places we could travel, skills we could master.

That hunger never really goes away.

But life changes when you become a husband and father.

Suddenly, the clock and your energy aren’t solely yours anymore.

Those desires don’t vanish, they get re-prioritized. Not because you’ve lost ambition, but because your family needs you.

And that calling is greater.

This is where the tension lies.

Unfulfilled desires don’t disappear.

They remain, whispering.

The danger is believing happiness only comes when every desire is satisfied.

If that’s our definition of joy, we’ll never have it—because no man, no matter how successful, ever checks off every dream.

The tension is real, I’ve felt it myself.

I’ve had success as an engineer, worked my way up to management, been granted multiple patents, launched The Intentional Father, as just a few items to mention.

All of those things are good and I’m thankful for them.

But truth is, if those were the things in which I found my happiness, I’d still be discontent. Because once you achieve one level, there’s always another rung on the ladder to climb, another patent to chase, another subscriber to gain. The question is: when is enough, enough?

John D. Rockefeller, one of the wealthiest men in history, was once asked how much money is enough. His answer was simple: “Just a little more.” And isn’t that the trap? If our joy depends on chasing “a little more,” we’ll never arrive.

At the end of the day, what is your priority?

What are you chasing?

When will you be content?

As a husband and father, the things you want to accomplish as a man, an individual, don’t have to disappear.

Here is my challenge today - Invite your children into them.

They could either get put on a shelf for a later day or simply slow down and bring your family along.

And I'll say this, those slower moments? They're the ones you remember most.

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Recently I built a chicken coop.

My wife saw one on Instagram and asked me to build it for her, of course, I obliged.

The pictures were beautiful! Roughly a 25ft run with 4x8 coop, not a small project.

So we got to work. Me and my three boys (6, 3, & 2 at the time)!

Working evenings and weekends it slowly took shape.

Plenty of times I attempted to get to a certain point before the day was done and plenty of times we didn't make it.

Multiple times I wanted to just hit the nail once with MY hammer to drive it in and multiple times I stopped myself.

Today, looking at the coop, I don't think of the slow progress, frustrations of mistakes, or even find joy in the final product.

I remember my two-year-old climbing the ladder beside me with his plastic hammer, determined to help. His words "my do this" forever in my ears.

I remember my six-year-old up on the roof laying shingles with me.

I remember my 3 year old continually turning off my air compressor because he thought it was hilarious, sitting there laughing contagiously.

It took longer.

The process was slower.

The paint isn't perfect.

There's 23 nails in one shingle.

But that’s the point. Contentment isn’t found in how fast or perfectly we execute, but in who we share the journey with.

True contentment isn’t the absence of desire.

It’s learning to carry desire without being ruled by it.

It’s choosing to serve your family first and find joy in the life you have.

Stop chasing the future scenario where all your goals are met and desires achieved.

Being content as a man doesn’t mean giving up.

Still pursue. Just pursue differently.

Maybe slower. Maybe smaller. Maybe later.

But they no longer define your worth.

Contentment is the strength to say:

I don’t have everything I want, but I’m thankful for what I have.

My happiness isn’t chained to unfulfilled ambitions.

I can live with desire and still live with joy.

As husbands and fathers, our greatest legacy won’t be what we built for ourselves, but the presence and intentionality we gave our family.

That’s the kind of contentment that doesn’t fade, even when dreams remain unfinished.

Because at the end of the day, being content doesn’t mean settling for less. It means recognizing that what you have right in front of you—your wife, your children, your family—is already more than enough.

Be Present. Be Intentional.

- Chad Vrla