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Be Present. Be Intentional.
Being a good dad doesn't mean being perfect.
It means being present during the time you have with your kids and being intentional about the relationship you're building with them.
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The Intentional Father is about encouraging and equipping dads to do just that.
To put down the distractions, make time for meaningful moments, and be the fathers our kids need us to be. It's not about having all the answers or getting it right every time. It's about making an effort, learning along the way, and continuing to grow.
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At The Intentional Father, we are husbands and fathers trying to do what is best for our families, learning as we go. This site was started to share our challenges and what we've learned about fatherhood and encourage other dads along the way.
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If you're not sure where to start, these five steps are a good place. Take what works for you, start small, and remember that the little things you do every day can make a big difference.
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- Chad Vrla
01
BE PRESENT
Put down the phone. Pick up the moment.
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Being present means more than simply being in the same room as your kids. It means being mentally and emotionally engaged, too.
It's easy to let work, notifications, and the everyday distractions of life take our attention away from the people who need us most.
I've struggled with this myself. The first step is recognizing those distractions and holding ourselves accountable for putting them aside.
You don't have to be available every second of every day. But when you're with your kids, make an effort to actually be with them.​
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Learn to recognize your distractions and take ownership of your attention.
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EXPLORE PERSONAL ACCOUNTABILITY →
02
BE INTENTIONAL
Don't just spend time together. Make the time count.
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Being present is the foundation.
Being intentional is what you do with it.
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We can spend an entire Saturday around our kids without doing much to build our relationship with them. Intentionality means taking the initiative: planning something they'll enjoy, teaching them a skill, asking a question, or simply getting down on the floor and playing.
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You don't need an elaborate plan or an expensive outing. Sometimes the best moments come from the simplest ideas. The important thing is that you're making an effort to connect.
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Find simple, practical activities you can do with your kids to build your relationship, teach them something, and make memories together.
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EXPLORE INTENTIONAL ACTIVITIES →
03
CAPTURE MOMENTS
Make room for the conversations that matter.
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Some of the most meaningful parts of fatherhood aren't planned activities. They're the conversations that happen in the car, around the dinner table, at bedtime, or while working on something together.
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Our kids won't always volunteer what's on their minds. Sometimes we have to ask the questions, put away the distractions, and give them the space to open up.
And when those moments happen, don't be in such a hurry to move on to the next thing. Listen to their stories. Ask another question. Laugh together. Remember the little things.
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Those everyday moments are how relationships are built.
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Find conversation starters, dinner table questions, and ideas for creating meaningful moments with your children.
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EXPLORE INTENTIONAL MOMENTS →
04
INTENTIONALLY GROW
You don't have to figure out fatherhood on your own.
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There's no instruction manual for being a dad. We're going to make mistakes, have hard days, and occasionally wonder if we're getting any of it right.
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The goal isn't perfection. It's progress.
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Keep learning. Reflect on the kind of father you want to be. Be willing to admit when you've got something wrong, apologize when necessary, and try again tomorrow.
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I've written about lessons I'm learning in my own life, practical ways to connect with my kids, faith, character, and the challenges that come with trying to be a good husband and father. My hope is that something here encourages you to keep growing, too.
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Explore practical articles and encouragement as well as our recommended reading for the journey of fatherhood.
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EXPLORE ENCOURAGEMENT ARTICLES →
EXPLORE RECOMMENDED READING →
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If you would like to receive Encouragement Articles and site updates in your inbox, please subscribe below.
05
PHYSICAL REMINDERS
Small reminders. Big impact.
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It's easy to start the day with good intentions and get swept up in everything else life demands.
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That's why The Intentional Father merchandise is simple and to the point. Not because a shirt or a coffee mug makes someone a better dad, but because sometimes a simple reminder can help us refocus on what matters.
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Be Present shirt.
This Side Up phone case.
Phone Down. Coffee Up. mug.
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Simple, small reminders of a bigger commitment: to intentionally remove the distractions, engage with our kids, and make the most of the time we have with them.
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Find something that reminds you to be present and intentional daily.
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One Last Thing
You don't have to get everything right everyday.​ But keep showing up.
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Put the phone down.
Be Present.
Make a plan.
Ask the question.
Teach something.
Engage.
Listen to their stories.
Say Yes.
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And tomorrow? Do it again.​
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Be Present. Be Intentional.
- Chad