Fatherhood Resource
Fatherhood Thoughts

There are two easy ways to find a family in need or a place in which to serve. First, go to your church. Generally, the church will have an idea or list of those people or families that could use a good hot meal. Whether someone is sick, just had surgery, lost a job, lost a loved one, etc., not having to think of cooking or where your next meal is coming from can be a huge help in a time of need. Second, a homeless shelter. Shelters are constantly in need of volunteers, not only around holidays but year round.

Spread some good and love in the world while also setting a wonderful example for your child!

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Information is abundant. One can get lost in the abyss of data, knowledge, articles, podcasts, or how to videos.

What should be simple searches or light research can turn into hours of second guessing due to slightly differing online opinions.

It's easy to tell ourselves we are still making headway by gaining knowledge, but the truth is, no headway is made until a step is taken.

Research should not develop your entire path but point you in the direction of your first step. The experiences, failures, successes, and hardships will dig the dirt, roll it flat, and lay the stones on which to walk.

The challenge is not to become excellent in research, but in the iteration of our efforts. "Fail fast" is the most common expression, but in the words of Adam Savage (former host of Mythbusters): "what is really meant is for us to iterate fast".

Basically, quickly learn from your failures. Make changes and try again. Learn again. Repeat.

Learn how to adapt after you stub your toe. Learn how to pick yourself back up after you fall flat on your face. The truth is, you are going to fail in life. A lot. You're lying to yourself if you believe exhaustive research will prevent you from failing.

In his book Atomic Habits, James Clear writes: "We are so focused on figuring out the best approach that we never get around to taking action...I refer to this as the difference between being in motion and taking action...We do it because motion allows us to feel like we're making progress without running the risk of failure." (p.142).

Don't be stagnant in motion. Research enough to take your first step, then step, iterating as you go.

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I was six or seven years old. I was bucked off my first horse. I hit the ground with a thud, my hat knocked off and the wind taken out of me.

Minor wreck all told by comparison of others to come. My dad walked over, pulled my tiny body off the ground. Dusted me off, let me get my bearings and said "Well Jerod son, that's the first of many times that is gonna happen. Cowboys can be hurt, but they always get back in the saddle."

- Jerod Post
Contributor - The Intentional Father

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A man's heart is forever changed when he becomes a father. It is indescribable the real pain, emotions, joy you feel when one of your children is experiencing adversity or triumph.

In Dave Grohl's book, The Storyteller, he describes these shifts in emotions simply, "...you are only as happy as your unhappiest child."

That sentence alone speaks to how a father can feel their child's feelings. However, when placed into the context in which it was used in the book, it screams.

In Gothenburg, Sweden, 2015, Dave Grohl performed his one of his most iconic Foo Fighter performances. Not because of the set list, not because of this being one of their first stadium tours, but because in the middle of the second song of the night, Dave broke his ankle. What makes the performance iconic, however, was not just the fact that he broke his ankle, but that he told them to carry him back onto the stage, plop him in a chair while the doctor held steady his freshly broken and now set ankle, and finished the show!

In the ambulance, on the way to the hospital, after the show, was when he had the opportunity to sit and be with his daughter. His adrenaline still pumping to the point where he felt no pain, he noticed his daughter struggling with her emotions after having witnessed the incident play out.

Even though his own thoughts and feelings were elevated, he immediately felt those of his daughter.

"Though I felt no pain, I felt hers. . .I could feel the fear and empathy in her innocent little heart, and I was instantly focused on her well-being." (p.47-48)

Fathers, its difficult to set aside your own joy or frustration to be what your family needs you to be. I salute you and your family appreciates you.

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About once a month I send each of my sons an email. The emails are sent to unique inboxes setup soon after they were born.

The emails range from current events/activities, to a specific moment in which I was proud and wanted to share, to a simple "I love you and was thinking about you". Sometimes I attach a few pictures to properly capture the moments, others it's a few simple words.

One day when they are older, perhaps after high-school graduation, I will give them the email address and password. This will unlock years of thoughts, love, images, and encouragement for them to peruse at their leisure. I hope it brings them joy as they read through my dated words. If anything, they will know, without a doubt, their father loves them dearly.

I say all this, because at the end of each email, I found myself signing off in a similar, unintentional fashion. Something to the extent of:
"I cannot wait to see the man you have become. I pray you are confident and kind. Know who you are, but don't be arrogant. Treat everyone you encounter with kindness, but do not be a push over."

This has since, simply become: "In all things, be confident and kind."

--

As I was researching and writing this post, I came across a speech by Jim Rohn called "How to Have Your Best Year Ever". In this instance, he was speaking in regards to leadership, however, it is fitting and right inline with the lesson today:

"The challenge of leadership is to be strong, but not rude; be kind, but not weak; be bold, but not a bully; be thoughtful, but not lazy; be humble, but not timid; be proud, but not arrogant; have humor, but without folly."
-Jim Rohn