Fatherhood Resource
Fatherhood Thoughts

I love having conversations with people of different backgrounds, professions, or interests and hearing what brings them joy, fulfillment, or their opinions.

One thing I have come to realize is that everyone knows something I don't.

Whether its in regards to sports, current events, music, the weather, you name it, I normally walk away from conversations having learned something.

In general, we tend to steer conversations towards topics in which we are knowledgeable. Mostly unintentionally, it's natural for us to gravitate towards ideas we are familiar with so we can carry the conversation.

But what if instead we became more accustom to inferring about others opinions and interests?

Not only would this make the other person in the conversation feel wanted and appreciated, but we would expand our own knowledge and understanding.

Be humble. Don't underestimate others. Every person around you knows something you don't. Understand this and use it as an advantage to learn and connect on a deeper level.

#lessonsformychildren

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Watching your child overcome a challenge and be successful can produce the most joyous feelings in the world. In contrast, seeing them stumble and fall can drop your heart into your stomach.
Preparing our children for the inevitable hurdles of life is a challenge. We want to see them jump each one with ease, but we know they will catch a knee or foot and stumble. Heck, sometimes they will simply forget to jump. However, the true measure of their preparation is not how many or which hurdles they hit, it's how quickly they get up and continue running.
As my children grow, I hope to instill toughness, work ethic, self-worth, confidence, love, kindness, and so much more in them.
To try and capture these ideals, mostly teachings from my father, I have been posting a "lesson" each Saturday. Every now and then, I will compile a few and further expand on the lesson. The first of these Encouragement Articles (5 Lessons For My Children) can be see here:
www.theintentionalfather.com/post/5-lessons-for-my-children
Here are 5 more...
Continue Reading at:
www.theintentionalfather.com/post/5-more-lessons
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Dr Jordan B Peterson goes on to say: "Very few people set out, consciously, to do a terrible job as a father or mother, but bad parenting happens all the time. This is because people have a great capacity for evil, as well as good - and because they remain willfully blind to that fact. People are aggressive and selfish, as well as kind and thoughtful. For this reason, no adult human being - no hierarchical, predatory ape - can truly tolerate being dominated by an upstart child." (p.142)
Essentially, understand yourself. Know that if you are unprepared and provoked, you may act against your desires as a parent.
This hit home for me.
I tend to have large reactions, quick to raise my voice. I am thankful for my wife who kindly makes me aware, post-argument with my son.
If I raise my voice at every little misbehavior, the significance of an elevated voice is diminished. What would then happen in time of crisis or danger? How then do I scale discipline without reaching unacceptable levels? It becomes a 'boy who cried wolf' scenario. My raised voice would not have the impact required in a dire situation nor could it continually match the levels of increasingly disobedient acts.
Understanding this about myself, I am able to set my mind right and put measures into place prior to escalation.
What are your buttons that your child knows and continually pushes? How do you react vs. how you would like to respond?
Take time to think about this today so you can respond how you prefer in the future.
If interested and would like to read more, get 12 Rules For Life here (Amazon affiliate link): https://amzn.to/3F5XHpT
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Whether learning something new or completing an assigned task there is no such thing as a dumb question.

Chances are, if you are unsure and left to make assumptions that were supposedly understood, others are as well. Don't let uncertainty lead to poor decisions because the proper information was not first gathered.

Clear requirements, clear understanding, clear objectives, lead to clear learning, work, and progress.

Too often we are consumed with how our actions will be seen and others perception of us. We make the assumption everyone else understood and don't want to look like the idiot in the room. But what if everyone had the same thought?

This compliments Lesson #7: "Be confident in what you know, but know what you don't know."

If we are confident in ourselves and our own understanding, then why not ask the question if only to ensure your assumptions are correct? If anything it will build trust for you in others. It will show that you aren't trying to be something you're not and with that comes respect.

Jocko Willink speaks to this in his book Extreme Ownership. In Chapter 3: Believe, he discusses a time he was consulting for a business. The CEO had released a new compensation plan that the midlevel managers didn't agree with. The managers couldn't understand why their leadership would release a plan, that in their eyes, would drive people away from the company.

Jocko as a simple question: "Why do you think they are implementing this plan? . . . Has anyone asked?"

The combined response was 'no', with one manager saying, "I'd feel pretty stupid asking. Our CEO is smart and has a lot of experience. She gets the business."

In this case, there was an assumption made by the CEO that the plan was explained well enough since there were no questions. In addition, there were assumptions made by the managers that everyone else understood, so I wasn't going to be the one that looked stupid.

At the end of the day, would anyone be successful in this scenario?

Ask questions. Ensure you have a clear understanding of your objective even if it means asking a question that can be perceived as "dumb". However, make sure you do not ask the same question twice.

#lessonsformychildren

#bepresent #BeIntentional #theintentionalfather

Today we reflect and give thanks for all we have been blessed with. From the roof over our head to the shoes on our feet, the food on our tables to the safety of our communities, there are countless blessings every day in which we are thankful but take for granted.

There is a lot of pain, fear, and anger in this world. In some parts of the globe, there is daily danger that awaits. In others, freedom of thought, speech, religion, is only a dream.

If you were able to wake up in peace today, say a prayer of thanks.
If you are able to stay out of the elements in the comfort of your home, say a prayer of thanks.
If you are able to heat your home to your liking, without a second thought or ounce of energy, but the press of a button, say a prayer of thanks.
If you are able to open your fridge or pantry and subdue you and your families hunger, say a prayer of thanks.
If you are able to be in the presence of loved ones, say a prayer of thanks.

There are endless reasons to be thankful in this life if we only take a minute to think of or look for them.

Today, look for them. Find the reasons. Be joyful in what you do have.

Happy Thanksgiving from The Intentional Father.

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